A friend of mine recently wrote me about how stressed and overworked she felt, she argued she had no time for her self, no time to do what she really wanted to do and no time at all to simply relax. Even though she was doing a lot of fun things she didn't feel joyful about it and didn't appreciate nor feel gratitude for any of it, all she could think of was how much she felt that her head was under deep water and how much misery she felt from within. Not only that but she constantly suffers from ear infections and urinary tract infections. Coincidence?
I asked her what she would want to do then instead? She told me that all she want is to have time to prioritise herself. That's all she wanted. Well, thats rather weird. You see, this girl doesn't have a bunch of kids to feed, she has no family to take care of, she has no obligations in life, at all. Not one responsibility she doesn't design herself. She even has plenty of money. How come this is her situation then? How come a person who has all the opportunities in the world to create the life she really would enjoy and value live in such distress?
I can't believe my ears when I hear such stories like this but this is not a foreign concept for neither you nor society I'm sure of. This is the most disgusting disease, if I may call, running it around in the streets of our decade and filling up our hospitals. Stress. STRESS. S.T.R.E.S.S. Everywhere. Why?
Why? When we have all we need! Which is food, warm clothes and a roof above our head.
Yes, it's often in the news and media. They write about how much inner stress and external pressure people feel and that there is not enough time to breath. Even cancer can develop from the hormones within our body. Cortisol is dangerous. And our pharmacies nearly exist because of our neurotic behaviour outcome.
So we all should avoid this chaotic tension. Yes, we know that. But why don't we do much about it? Why don't we change our habits and thought patterns instantly while learning how our lifestyle and thoughts affect our wellbeing and our mental abilities and physical function? It should be so easy? But it seem like its just as we know what is healthy food but yet we like eating candy and continues to do so?
Emotional intelligence, EQ should be on the menu in the educational system all day long. How to be human, how to enjoy life, how do deal with your thoughts and feelings basically. How to change patterns and think healthy. This should all be taught over and over again in school. It's a joke that it isn't already long time ago.
I came across the other day that the governments strategy for youth health from 2016-2021 is now about getting emotional intelligence into the subjects in school. Wow! It is working, slowly but steady.
All I want to say is for those of you that feel like my friend, or knows someone who might feel that way, perhaps a child, your parent.. Reach out and say..
I know what you are feeling, but remember, life is about enjoying yourself. Do what makes you smile and laugh and feel good about yourself. Its your life, you can create your own. Do not focus on what other people do. Absolutely do not compare yourself to others. Figure out what lights your spirit. You need to design a life then which doesn't give you much physical and mental disturbance. Find out what are the most important factors on how to feel good and have good life. For instance, my overall biggest value in life is time. For some people it might be money but for me the thing which I value the highest is time. Time to do things I enjoy, things that might not even generate money but things that is meaningful to me and that I find purpose in.
What I prioritise above all is health. Heath comes first. ALWAYS.
Skip this if you like. Boring stuff about me (My dream situation? If I could choose entirely what to do I'd be spending my time writing, reading, exploring great things and meeting interesting people, work from anywhere in the world, I'd also like to make podcasts and youtube videos together with others. I love to communicate and I love to learn. This is what I'd do for the next few years if I could make a plan.
I would love to invest in research and impact businesses. I really wish I had a lot of money so that I could fund all things I find important, like blockchain development, CRISPR technology, research on ending all diseases and ageing, artificial intelligence and Augmented Reality. )
Its your life! Enjoy the little things.
Most important of all, be your own best friend. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend. How do you talk you yourself right now? Do you ever listen carefully to how you treat yourself? Would you treat others you cared about the same way?
But.. What might be the underlying cause of feeling like my friend?
We have to basic emotions. Love and fear. Does stress comes from love? No it branches from fear. False Evidence Appearing Real. But what do we fear?
Not being loved. We fear that we won't be good enough for our partners, family, friends, acquaintances, neighbours, society and ourselves. We fear that we won't be able to buy food and thus we fail to take care of ourselves and we will be "looked down on". We fear the pitiful, sceptic, laughing and disgustful eyes of society when we do something which isn't applicable with the norms and rules of our culture. But it all gets back to love. We are scared of not being loved , not feeling love from people we want to feel love from or just want to be admired. We always want to be the best version possible and compare ourselves to the top elite of the people in society who gets the most admiration and love. That puts us way down before we even start. Not a chance to get up there immediately. Meanwhile we might feel stressed.
But, you are loved! From everyone. It's just an illusion. Next time you feel lonely and insecure and not loved, think about that the other person you are talking about might just feel the exact same. Why not reach out and comfort this person? Make the encounter about the other person, not you! Shift focus, focus on who you are with, not on how you act when you are around people. Put your focus on others!
Don't be the victim. Be the winner. Change your attitude and perspective and you'll forever be content.
How often do you ask yourself this?
- How often do you feel grateful? When?
- Do you have meaning that gives you a sense of purpose? When? Why?
- How often do you smile? When was the last time? Doing what?
- How often do you laugh? When was the last time? Doing what?
- When do you truly enjoy yourself?
- Alone or together with someone? Then who? Where? When? Why?
- And how often do you do things you really really take pleasure in doing?
- How often do you feel positive emotions and have healthy thoughts?
- What are you missing in your life? Why is that so? Is it necessary to miss it? Will you die or someone you know die without it?
- What are the things you appreciate the most with your life?
- Are you content with your life? Why? Why not?
- How is your thought pattern? Beneficial or self destructing? Why?
Enjoy life while being present with the things and people you already have. Feel grateful for it, appreciate it, love it. When you can do that, you'll be content. Never wishing to be somewhere else no matter what situation. You'll feel truly alive.