Okei, going through some past online material. And jeeeez. What did I find.. well.. Heres a holler to 21 year old artsy, funny and confused Yrja. Omg. tragic, sad and hilarious at the same time. Had to post it. Enjoyyyy.
I have always had this creepy fear of doing what I love the most solo. I've done so many things all by myself for years but when it comes to do what I truly desire there are a voice and anxious feeling inside when thinking about it doing it all alone with no one to talk things over with, no one to share experiences and share ideas, no one to have fun and share downsides with on the journey. What do I got if I fail on what truly matters to me? What I've desired the most all my life? Who am I then? That's why it scares the heck out of me. Because without my burning passion and feeling for me being able to accomplish what I want the most, I feel that my identity simply vanish.
The voice within I am pretty sure comes from my childhood and my parents in general. "Dreams doesn't exist and you can't achieve what you want, cause there is no such thing, society is not made for you to do such things, life is hard" this is what I've been hearing over and over again. Every time I tried to share a dream or wondering about how to do things this came up, and not only then but everything related to this topic brought this up. Support and on and belief in who I am and what I can and want to do I have never gotten from home.
I know everyone is scared to do things by themselves, but having those two people who have been your authorities as a child and are your closest that does something with you. But to me, its time to make a settlement with this. Because of lots of things you need to do alone if there is no one who'd like to tag along.
The thing is that I know I can do it, I know I've got talent for it but that's why it scares the heck out of me bc I don't want to fail myself bringing this gift into daylight. Fear of failure and huge performance anxiety which only kicks in when I truly want something I know that I can do but with a hard amount of work.
So today I am in need of some empowering content and perhaps you can benefit from it too. Its absolutely some great words she puts on the table. Everyone is scared, everyone is struggling but persistence and vision is what is gonna get you where you want.
And just to add in, if you happened to miss this genius vlog post by Casey Neistat you gotta watch it right away. Take the time to do it right now!
I do. No doubt.
Not only that but I'd like to grow old respectfully of my soul staying healthy, not attacked by this horrifying disease called aging. At least me and several researchers name aging an illness. I truly believe we all will, in I guess about 20 years .
I've been writing posts on this topic previously. If your interested in learning more about my thoughts and findings, here you go: "Lets Put An End To Aging Together"
But before you scroll further down, watch the video below about how we potentially can extend our lives.
How attached are you to your things? How much time pass until you buy something new? How often do you throw stuff away? How often do you play with or use the things you've bought? Do you have clothes that you've bought but it still hangs in the closet with the price tag on years later? If you do not use it at least once a month, why do you have it? Why do you crave for more when your shoe rack is all full of shoes not used?
Do you have things you just bought to impress and show of to others? Isn't that a bit embarrassing to think of? You bought it not because you wanted to but because you thought this was a way to be admired and liked by others? So you buy things to feel loved? Friendship should be based on real love, not on fake material ground. At least thats the kind of relationships I cultivate. But that might just be me. Would be so too tiring just thinking about all things I needed to buy and use just to feel accept from the people I'd really want to like me. Thats not a healthy friendship. Is it????
I've got this friend who recently started her journey towards a more conscious lifestyle and she decided to document it all on social media (www.siriabrahamsen.com), which is super interesting to follow and I guess she inspires many. At least some as she has loads of followers. These days she is throwing away all of her stuff, she is selling her house, she recently started eating healthier and taking lots of small other conscious parts of actions. I'm actually a bit envious, because I'd like to share my journey too. The only problem is that there is none to share because I started living consciously long time ago, actually all the way back into child hood. I never wanted to buy anything or spend any money and I rarely ate meat and used all my clothes until there was nothing left. So there is really no voyage to be shared. When I was young it wasn't because of the feeling of responsibility or sense of awareness of what would make me and others healthier, it was simply a natural choice. I didn't want to live otherwise. But later in life I see more clearly why I had this urge because I know today that this is what makes me happy and gives me a graceful and joyful life.
So, when I started living by myself it continued. It got even more conscious as I now took all of the choices myself on what to eat, how to live, what do do, what to buy etc. At this present time I own practically nothing, rarely buy other things than food unless things are broken and impossible to use (like a new phone or computer) and I eat no animal products, and use my clothes until its all just big holes.
Hence, I've got no story to share on how I felt when I did all these because this way of living consciously is apparently hardwired in my DNA, apparently. The only thing I can relate to is if I envision a non conscious life, full of things I do not need, way too big of a house, driving a gasoline car, eating all kinds of crappy food, working in a job just to earn money for things I do not use etc. That thought and visualizing process makes me feel sick instantly. I could never do that, not towards myself, others, the planet and animals.
I can not be owned by things, I can not live a life true to my heart, I can not live a life doing something just to for the money I need to love what I do every second, we got so little time on our visit in this body on earth. And eating animal products that our bodys are not made to digest(we are the only one next to monkeys having color vision, and there is a reason that we see this and not only see movement). Immediately I get the sensation of being enslaved to all the stuff, chained to a several rooms in a large house, that is in constant need of cleaning and fixing. My time is holy and I'd rather see someone else fix that than having to spend several hours a week doing it. (okay if I randomly was super rich and could hire someone to live in my house JUST to clean and fix things any time of the day, fine, but I'm not sure I could do that either, I have too much empathy. I'd rather spend all these money on something that gave value into the world, like funding research or funding startups).
So no thank you to that. And no thank you to sitting at a desk 8am-5pm everyday just to work towards someone else's goal and earning a big fat check. I want to be the master of my time and what I spend it on. Doing something I don't love is out of the question.
All I can do is share with you my sense of freedom this way of living gives me. And I highly recommend it to you too.
I'm excited to see how it all goes for my friend Siri, will it make her happier? Will it give her an easier life? Sense of Freedom? We will wait and see. Meanwhile you can follow her on instagram @siriabrahamsen
Will you do anything to change the way you look at things? What do you enjoy the most, time to think about fun stuff and time to do things you love. Or do you like spending time in worry of not have cleaned the house, someone ruining your car, or someone spilling on your expensive clothes or shoes? Hmm
One year ago I wrote another blogpost on this topic. For further learning click here.
On my schedule today this 14th of February. I’ve got a date with the best person I know at the best place ever. The most important person in my life in fact, if it wasnt for this person I wouldn't be alive and here to celebrate today. It's a person with whom I’ve shared almost 29 years and I couldn’t be happier. I would and could never go one day without you. Thank you so much for being by my side every fucking day. Thank you for sharing your home with me. Thank you for having me wake up every morning, for delivering me a healthy body and a graceful smiling soul. Thank you for what you are, every cell, bone and neruon signal you make and keeping my consciousness alive. No one below and no one above. There is only you. I love you. From here to eternity.
And no, its not my mum(all though she gives my life an extended meaning way beyond what only myself can do), its me. Me, myself and I, Yrja will have a big celebration from within my precious brain and body today, eat whatever the fuck we want and do whatever we want. Yay!
Who is the most significant person in your life?
Shouldn't it be you ?
Previously this was the anniversary of my ex and I's relationship. We were on our second date 14th of February 2013.
But today I am lucky to have this day all to myself. The day of love. And I am lucky to be in a place where I love myself profoundly and embrace who I am, what I look like, what I am capable of and what I am for others to the fullest. I cherish myself and do whatever I can to keep my mind and body in a healthy place. I live as consciously as possibly for a human to live, after my opinion.
I am incredibly lucky as I see many people who despise themselves and act towards themselves as their own worst enemy, talking shit towards themselves, bot taking care of themselves, not grateful at all with whom they share every second of the day with and can’t escape from, every day. A life like that is death to me. It seems like hell not being able to wake up filled with bliss and gratitude for waking up healthy another day. Waking up filled with chaos and negative thoughts beating you up from within having you live in misery and feelings of failing everyone and everything every day. What kind of life is that?
Yourself should be the most highly valued and most deeply loved person in your life and you should take perfect care of this home of yours. Be good. Be kind. Be your own best friend and your life will smile to you and you’ll gain so much energy and joy and laughter will fill your lungs and ears. Wonderful people who is in a good place as well will be thrown your way. What you are you attract. Feel it, give it, love yourself.
Self-love should be on the menu not only today but everyday.
Who are you celebrating with?
<3 Happy Valentines Day From Me <3
Much Love & Hearts Will Come Your Way.
Perhaps you'll feel it?
** Update **
So random, but right after I wrote this I turned on my favorite podcast and you know what? It was about self love. You should definitely check it out if this is something you need to practice which it probably is cause we all should continue reminding ourself on this every day.
Here it is "Shawn Stevenson(The Model Health Show) on "How Your Level Of Self-Love Impacts Your Health, Happiness, And Success".
We all know by now I guess (hopefully you do) how damaging stress it to both your brain and you body. There is no worse "disease trigger" actually, well, except aging of course. It breaks your neurons down and shut don your immune and internal organ system and it has your cells age faster and even kill them. You can read more about that here.
For about 9 years now I've been allergic to stress. One day, I decided, I can not do this anymore. «This tears my body down too much in such a young age, how will this affect me in the long run? With this lifestyle I wont survive until I'm 100 (or longer which is my wish).» I just couldn't accept that kind of future and I couldn't bare with the present state of mind and physical body. I was so stressed out that I simply couldn't cope with life. I was completely handicapped. So I decided, stress is way too dangerous to keep carrying in my body and it will destroy me if I do. Most likely get me killed. And, I, I wont let it.
And from that day on, I took control. I became the captain of my mind, the editor or author if you wish(to give a visual image). I claimed full control and the CEO position of my mind, really. Of course it took sometime to change and develop new habits and thinking patterns to stop avoiding my body creating that poison and pumping it out through my veins. But in a few months I managed and it haven't entered since. If I can feel tendencies to it, something in my environment or mind is on the wrong track and I study everything in detail to figure it out. Most times it's an obvious cause, so I kinda know quite easily what it might be because both my gut and intuition has a good overview at this point. What I do then is the following, I take action to have it go away as quickly as possible and start questioning myself and observe my daily habits, body language, eating pattern. Am I exercising enough? Am I eating too much sugary foods? Is it work? Or a situation at work? Or is it personal? A new friend? Or lover? Sleeping enough? Have I've been seeing grateful and inspiring people lately? Had any meaningful conversations or have I been mostly alone the past days and weeks? What is really on my mind? I'm studying every thought passing by, if there is some negativity in there that causes it, its time to switch that up with a positive one. Whats the gift in this negative though or the cause of the negative thought? Whats the instructions it gives me? Why is it there in the first place? Whats the opposite thought of this, what really is the positive in this thing? You can always, always find a reason of why this thought or event is a gift. I assure you. And mostly it is the guidance towards a better you who is the answer, but you'll always find what it concerns if you just give it some thoughts. But, I mean, nervousness before you enter a stage to do some public speaking, or do a presentation, or before a date or such things to me that is not considered stress. Thats just actually a healthy adrenaline shot that makes you more alert and focused, really. Or, at sometimes it can also blank you out, like it did with me the other day when I had the presentation on stage in front of 250. Haha. So, nervousness is just good, it doesn't last for too long either. Of course, if you're constantly trembling of nervousness thats not too beneficial for the neither the brain nor the body.
So, No entry in this body, stress. Has always been my policy. Until lately. Ive been thinking is all kinds of stress really bad? It's been a question in the back of my mind for a few weeks now. But haven't given it much thought really, hasn't even occured to me to google it. But, all of a sudden, I click play on the most recent podcast episode by Shawn Stevenson at the Model Health show, and guess what. Here's the title to have you understand:
Stress Activated Foods, Intermittent Fasting, & The Principles Of Stress - With Ori Hofmekler
Wtf, right there, on a silverspoon delivered straight into my mouth I got some answers to the question. Thanks universe!
"Stress can be ruthless. It’s a silent assassin that can break down your brain, screw up your internal organs, and pack fat onto your body. But… That’s only one face of stress. Stress can also be invigorating. It’s capable of making you more physically fit, biologically stronger, and literally keep your brain decades younger. So, how in the world can it be so good, yet so treacherous at the same time? Today we’re going to dissect the value of stress to maximize the benefits, and minimize the potential downfalls."
So it got me thinking, have I been missing out on something? Hm.. The right kind of stress is magically enough beneficial. I wish it was called something else though as I see stress as a relativily negative word. Excitement. Yeah, thats better. Not healthy stress but excitement. I am and always shall be excited to be alive.
What do you think about the concept of healthy stress? Is it really beneficial? Would you name it something else?
**Note; I might at some point write an in depth analytical post about this topic do not know when though so do not keep your expectations for that on default. **
Changing your thinking pattern for the better can be a rough job as we, human beings, are hard wired to survive, meaning we are constantly on the hunt looking for some dangerous and negative things that can hurt us. That's how our ancient brain was made to think, if we want to be happy, new neural pathways needs to be created. This, you can only train yourself to attain. Treat your brain like a muscle and exercise it to the point of a deep constant knowing, feeling and sensation of content and gratitude. Yes, this is possible.
And, when other people manage to do this you can too.
It can start as simple as this;
When something that seems bad in the moment happens to you, how often do you ask yourself what is the gift in this? And.. How do you even know that an event occurring to you really is negative?
Because it doesn't have to be. Failure, unfavorable, big and small mistakes, heartbreaks, illness, a bad email or phone call, or someone talking behind your back, someone bullying you, being broke, or saying something ludicrous and ridiculous to another person, or simply not getting what you want etc. Whatever you can think of that makes you not feel good about yourself. When you think about what happened, replace all depressing, frustrating, angry, thoughts with:
"What are the teachings, whats the guidance coming out from this? Really, what is the gift in this?"
Just do it. Let me know how it goes. Keep doing it. Because everything is really a gift, I might sound religious if being a kind and grateful person is what you associate with religion (which is absurd in the first place). Life itself is a gift and we all need guidance to get better at being who we are supposed to be and to serve ourself, others and earth as we are supposed to. So follow the signs to become a better human by saying, what is the gift in all of this?
I'm not too much of a book reader as I mainly feed on articles and podcasts... All though I wish that I was able to take some time off each day to read books, because nothing inspires me more than reading a good book. Seriously Yrja, 15 minutes a day, thats doable? No excuses is allowed really but until now I can't seem to find too much time.
I have friends who swallows books for breakfast and I've always felt envious about all the knowledge they gain from those books, but then again, its not that I don't read, I simply consume shorter texts, so should it really matter? How many books do you read a month?
I guess so, cause if you read something in depth over a few hours this stimulates deep work state which is super beneficial for your brain and wellbeing, I'll get back to that..
What I like the most about reading great (non fiction) books is exactly that I get this sense of flow, and diving into another universe.
At the moment I'm reading this book called "Deep Work" by Cal Newport which quickly has become one of my favourites. It's incredible full of the teachings I was in need of at the moment. Having me remember with what and what type of work life I thrive the most. Really its such a good indication on how we are supposed to work and what makes us people thrive and produce quality work efficiently.
Here is the definition of deep work;
Deep work is the ability to focus without distraction on a cognitively demanding task. It's a skill that allows you to quickly master complicated information and produce better results in less time.
Another one from wikipedia.
"Deep work is the ability to focus without distraction on a cognitively demanding task. It’s a skill that allows you to quickly master complicated information and produce better results in less time. Deep work will make you better at what you do and provide the sense of true fulfillment that comes from craftsmanship. In short, deep work is like a super power in our increasingly competitive twenty-first century economy. And yet, most people have lost the ability to go deep—spending their days instead in a frantic blur of e-mail and social media, not even realizing there’s a better way."
Tempting or scary? Could you go a day without interacting with anyone, not being online? Just doing work in a deep concentrated state? Would that be possible, or has the habits of social media got to the core of your everyday life? Do you own it or does it own you?
And what do you prefer? Control of social media or social media controlling you?
I always have my phone on silent and only have notifications on for messenger and email, as it can pop up "urgent" texts there (I never use SMS) but even though I have notifications on it doesnt ping or anything, it's silent notification that pop up on the screen and that's it.
I do not have notifications for mail or any other things on my computer screen either. Which is completely liberating. This was a choice I made when I got my first phone. No other than me is going to choose how I spend my time. No one is going to control my schedule with a call or a text. I'll see it when I care too.
Lately I've been starting to put my phone on flight mode when I want think and worktime and peace to myself. And its super liberating, hard at first as I constantly probably like you want to reach for my phone, but now I'm getting used to it and I love it.
Maybe you'd enjoy it too?
In the book Cal Newport points out that research actually shows that it makes us happier. Which makes perfect sense to me. I actually feel more calm and content when I'm distraction free. I thrive in solitude as I get to think deeply which makes me much more aware and energized. So what I like the most is to work from home when my roomate is out. Sometimes I wish that I had my own little dollhouse in could escape to everyday to read and write and work, just like Roald Dahl. No wonder he managed to come up with such a magic universe, he was rarely or never interrupted during his work hours as it was strictly forbidden to enter. When I get to work deeply I feel way more satisfied and I get things done. I actually feel more creative and smarter because my nerual pathways get to flow freely. So that research I definitely is definitely true after my experience.
How often do you put in some hours of deep work?
If you don't care to pick the book up for a read then the video below is for you. But seriously. I highly recommend you downloading the book from kindle now as we speak!
Just don't.. don't go shopping.
Watch this talk and do consider becoming the master of your own emotions. It's possible, and its way more relaxing. It will fill you with relief and have you wonder why it took so long to get there. You have the power to take effect. Basically all of your reactions and emotions is based on guessing. In real life you literally have no clue what any situation is all about, then why use energy on assumptions and creating false emotions on something completely unnecessary?
Notice her saying "stoically accepting defeat". Here you got me.. I guess people find it a bit weird as I tend to not show too many feelings except from happiness. I'm simply agree to accept it all. I try to manage my energy, thoughts and, time to optimalize well being and wasting both time, thoughts and energy is not on my schedule.
There is so much talk about New Years Resolutions every year, and then later in January it turns out that most people failed already after a few weeks on what they planned for. Which would at least make me feel like a big fiasco for the rest of the year. At least not hope for things that's impossible for you to achieve. Simply, be realistic, be honest. Who am I, what can I handle? What does my mind allow me to finish through? How much willpower do I have? What kind of habits? Thinking pattern? Etc. Questions are essentials to figure out a few goals. Planning to work out 5 days a week if you do not work out at all until now, is a complete disaster. For sure that ain't gonna happen, perhaps for a few weeks, or even months, but then.. You'll slip and become a huge mistake to yourself and stay disappointed and the negative thoughts pulling you down will creep in on you. Not only that.. But people mostly talk about what concerns THEM. What they are going to do for themselves this year. I rarely hear anyone say, I'm gonna be more kind to others, smile to more people, I'm gonna hug people more, treat everyone with respect, be helpful and of service to others and such things. Of course we all live in our own bubble, but come on, we all know that this is not reality! Me! Me! Me.. Seriously? I live in Norway though, I believe the Me culture is stronger here than anywhere else, and in the western in general the ego culture is still in charge.
I can't wait to live in a world where people have larger than themselves new years resolutions, and not only for the new year but for life. Life philosophies, life goals, and resolutions that concerns others but themselves. Like, be more loving, help people who asks for help, have more coffee meetings with people asking for advice, give away the stuff I don't need to the poor. Etc..
I have goals for this year within the fields of my career, physical and mental wellbeing, social circle and relationships next to continue and if be even more kind, grateful, thankful, loving, helpful and respectful, curious and open towards others and situations that happens. And by others I do not mean only human beings, I mean, all living beings, nature, earth and the universe. We are all one and can not exist without each other. Well. Living beings, nature, earth and universe can exist without us, but for sure.. If none of these things wouldn't be around.. We wound't either(why are we so cruel when we know we're dependent on what we are destroying?). So you get what I mean? And by situations that happen, I mean that there is a gift in everything. Either negative or positive situations comes with a gift of instructions. Those instructions will guide you towards a better version of yourself mentally or physically or both which again will benefit everyone.
I said this to a random guy at work, or I said that I was going to continue and be even more kind, thankfull etch.. To that he simply said, "well that seems pretty religious to me with a negative loaded voice." Wait what? Being a good person you symbolise with being religious which you also not are and think of negatively? Oh my god, society what have we done to have a person grow up to behold such beliefs?
I responded that I am not a religious person (I dont know if I can call myself one at all? I believe in the universe and a higher intelligence but it's not related to any religion and I do not like the word spiritual either..) but to me its about being a good citizen, being a good person for others and for myself. Which all in all makes my life and others in my presence better. If I can make one person feel better near me that is magic. If I can change someones day or life that makes my heart so warm. I did not say the last sentence but anyways he said he was kind to others just to benefit himself, so that they wouldn't talk bad about him or so when he might be in need of something they would treat him kindly too. Here you go, the me culture again. Seriously. I can not wait until this kind of mental behaviour and consciousness switch.
All that aside, 2018 is gonna be GREAT. I have a really good feeling for 2018!
So, what is your new year resolution?
Yes, I'm STEEMINGIT up! This is almost embarrassing but it took me until yesterday to discover this blockchain based content platform where all content creators get rewarded in STEEM coins. This is SO freakin excitiiiing. You guys know how eager I am for this technology, or perhaps I didn't express that too much already. What really gives me joy about the platform is that lots of people actually started reading my posts. Not too many but my first one 135 people have seen and already and I've gotten almost 40 followers... I'm so touched. The community seems so warm, welcoming and loving. Not only that but it gives me a feeling that many of the people present there are intelligent. Nothing pleases me more than meeting likeminded people from all over the world which I can learn from and connect with. If you, like me haven't heard of it, it's worth checking out! At least if you enjoy follow me thats a platform where I'll be dedicating lots of my time . It's in BETA, meaning I'm on as one of the early adopters woho, perhaps thats also why the community seems so connected and genuine..
I'll upload posts I've posted here but some new content/versions will follow and of course I'll continue to post on my beloved website :D
You can read my introduction on the website here
What do you think of this platform?
Where do you think the journey of blockchain will take us?
What do you think we'll be using it for?
What kind of cryptocurrencies do you believe will take off? (I've invested in etherum and already my investment has increased several times :) Apparently Bitcoin is called the gold of internet and etherum silver.. :)...)
Find me here @yrja
Mirror mirror on the wall, will you ever show us any meaning at all?
Perhaps this is a frase which you've stumbled upon every now and then or maybe you ponder about it pretty often? I guess it has touched most of our brains at some point. Hasn't it?
Anyhow, we should all know by now that the meaning of our own life we have to create ourselves. There is no special purpose (that we know of this far) or sense of meaning unless we wire our brains to invent it. And to do that you got to accept the meaninglessness there is to it all.
You need to sculpt and cultivate the why of you. I'm sorry to say there is no one that will serve this to you on a silver spoon. So either you'll find it or you'll not. It all depends on your perspective on the world and on your own thoughts.
Anyways.. Why indulge in depressing existential thoughts which brings you nothing but misery when life is full of stuff to enjoy? Redirecting our minds and start leaving the struggle of looking for a bigger picture behind. Instead, go explore and find important stuff in the things around you.
The underline of the awesome TV series Rick and Morty, which goes far into the portal of philosophy, is all about this. Almost every episode questions existence.
And apparently the message that gets through is that the only meaning there is is the one you'll have to make up yourself together with the people you love. There is no other secret than that.
Rick is the most genius scientist of the whole universe and even he struggles to figure out a reason to stay alive at times which is why he find himself burping alcohol at any time of the day. , But the TV series shows us pretty clear that Rick actually finds meaning in loving, being of service and caring for his family.
This shines through in one touching episodes where he has to risk his life to save Rick.
That's what I enjoy the most with this show, it spreads awareness of life and deliver meaningful , valuable content which creates thoughts and activate the viewers brain in a subtle, entertaining and funny way.
Definitely worth some of your precious time. Perhaps it'll even teach you something or spark som enlightenment neurons in your mind!
My why I know, cause after observance of my own wellbeing and way of life this make the most sense (of course sometimes I have to pretend that I know it to trick my conscious self to be convinced of that's a fact. Yes indeed life can, or our head can deliver some real shit storms at times but as long as one do not pay too much attention to it, it's fine) it's loving, being of service and caring for others. Deep within I have a wish and I'm on a mission to make the world a better place, even though it's just on a tiny tony scale if that is all I can manage.
Quote from the video (weeell said)
"The only thing more terrifying than not existing or not knowing why you exist is existing and having no one to share it with."
What is your why?
Why do you wake up in the morning?
Where do you find meaning?
What really makes you smile and get a warm sensation?
Well, perhaps not think about it too much either, embrace life and enjoy it.
And really, do NOT take life too seriously. That's my one and only advice.
And oh, while you're here you really need to check out this mind blowing peace of art, the trailer for Rick & Morty season 3. No words. Or one word actually: TRIPPY.COM
Ok one more video if you're super into it like I am at the moment you probably wanna watch this one as well:
If you are new to the show, you'll find it on Netflix!
If you haven't yet heard of the book Essentialism it certainly was about time you did.
I downloaded it yesterday all though one of my very best friends has been throwing it after me for months. I finally picked it up and I now understand why.
Taking a left turn for a few sentences: I believe she has the most helpful library in her home ever existing. She reads all the best books on how to have a life in fulfilment and peace, and how to get on track towards your vision and mission. So I value her recommendations highly. A bit more background info on her: she is one of the best time managers I've ever met in person. She also has three kids and a house, in Stavanger, addition to that she is divorced and have found a new boyfriend in Oslo and on top of that she is an entrepreneur. Her life if all about responsibility. She HAS to be a total pro in this field, like many others also need to, but the only difference, she manages to do it, on point. I respect her profoundly and she is one of my go to friends for advice and support. She is a huge inspiration source and the mist kind and joyful woman I know. How does she do it? Well, practice and reading a lot, and of course worshiping the book Essentialism, and now I totally understand why. If you'd like to learn more about how she does it and what she do You need to check her out actually, Siri Abrahamsen. Oh well this suddenly became a blogpost where I honor my dear friend but so be it and so while I'm at it you could also check out the Ingefær podcast where she guested some months a go. She is on a mission to spread the awareness of and build emotional intelligence amongst us. Which is highly needed in our time being. She mainly focus on kids and their parents but also work B2B and has written 3 books with the 4th and 5th on the way. Her main focus is how to create great relationships, with yourself, partner, family, kids, colleagues, friends. If you start follow her, you'll learn a lot on how to live a happier and more peaceful life. She is one of the most mentally wise people I know. And I'm lucky to have her as a friend and guide! In a way she is this book that I am talking about. It has become the core of all her choices and actions in life. She is super conscious about her time and what she use it for. And I believe this is the way we all should live to lead a life full of content and no stress.
Ok, so back to the book. Essentialism. What this book is all about is how to do this. How to actually adopt Siris mentality and how to implement it into actions in your daily life. It's all about asking yourself the right questions. The book starts with the author telling his story and what catalysed it. He hit the tipping point when he, as embarrassingly it was, rushed from the hospital where his wife just gave birth to their child simply to go to a meeting which nothing came out of but negativity. He lost his integrity and respect at work and at home that day. From that point he understood he had reached rock bottom. I believe this might be the case for many people these days. Saying yes to everything with the feeling of not really be able to manage anything at all and the feeling of that hanging over them constantly. Always disappointing oneself and mirroring this feeling in managers, co-workers and family members. Divorces even happen because of unavailability to manage their time correctly. If you feel like one of these people you need to start reading this book asap, and if you are like me that just want to be more aware of how putting the tools into words so to being able to guide others properly this is also a book for you, and if you are simply curious on this way of thinking, read it!!! Let me know what you think. I guess that when I finished the book I'll add some more content to this post.
Stop stressing and start living. There is nothing more important than living with content and calmness in the now. There is nothing more important than being happy with your life right here right now. As long as you're moving forward, no matter how fast or slow, it's a success. Health and wellbeing in this very moment is what to cherish. Base all your actions and thoughts on this.
And ask yourself what truly matters.
What are the trade-offs by me doing this?
How many people do I help by using my time on this?
What really matters?
What really makes me happy?
What makes me smile?
What give me the sense of wellbeing, in which mindset and situation is this?
What would happen if I could figure out the one thing I could do at work that would make the highest contribution?
All these questions and more are SO important to ask yourself to map out your road to a better and healthy life for yourself and those around you. All your relationships will get better when this is on the right track.
This is also the core of my life. This is what makes me do whatever I do in life. Sometimes I of course wish I could accomplish and move in a faster pace more but when I think about how I'd feel if I felt constantly in a rush it's not a positive answer. So.. I'm rather happy with moving in my own pace and not comparing myself to everyone else. I need to be calm and stay happy, smile and laugh a lot. And I only do that when I follow my core belief. So.. Lots of things need to be sacrificed but the most important things are worshiped and cultivated by living this way. So mission accomplished. I think so.
"If you don't prioritise your life, someone else will."
Did You Know That 95 % Of Your Thoughts Each Day Are Repetitive?
Terrible. Right? 60.000 is the amount of thoughts your brain holds each day. And guess what 95 % are the same everyday. Yes, 95% of your mind is repetitive. Depressing? Right? But whats even worse is that 80% of these thoughts are negative. Nahh you say, that can't be? Well, a study in 2005 by the National Science Foundation says so.
And if you start paying attention to your thoughts and feelings, let me know if they aren't. We humans get annoyed, worried, become in doubt, in despair, shameful, irritated, guilt, insecure, sad, envious, jealous, angry, stressed all the time, yes everyday apparently we hold thoughts having us feel like this. We often dwell in the past or the future, obsessing about mistakes we might have made, battling guilt or planning ahead. We are constantly drifting into fantasy, fiction and negativity. Consequently, an absolute minuscule number of our thoughts are actually focused on what is truly important and real: the present moment. The moment is all that is, every was and will be. Everything else is elusive and illusory, particularly as our subjective awareness and feelings are concerned.
You recognise those feelings and thoughts, don't you? Some people just fires up if the person in front of them drives too slow when they have to catch a meeting starting in not too long and some people gets annoyed when their partner didn't clean up when he came home earlier than you. Etc.. Apparently there are sooooo much things to get frustrated about. It basically seems like the human mind is wired for neuroticism.
But, you might also be one of the persons that are really aware of your consciousness and also knows how your subconsciousness works and know how to manipulate and alter your state of mind to take control and be in charge and quit having these feelings and thoughts. But if you really do not work on yourself to discover your brain, you might be one of those people who copes with negative thoughts and feelings 80 % of the day. You really have to go through lots of self observance and hard work to get rid of them and live with happy and content thoughts and feelings. You might also be one of the lucky people who have no feelings at all only good ones and a quiet and peaceful mind, but believe me, there are not too many of you guys out there.
So seriously, whats wrong with us? And how can we really alter our minds? Is it even possible?
Yes as I mention above there is a way. It might have seemed a bit understandable when you read it if you have never been thinking about these things before... But let me break this down for you.
And to mention first, I find it really annoying that emotional intelligence is nothing that we learn in school or in our community or really not from our parents either, cause they haven't learned this themselves.. Sadly, it fucks us up. Depression is increasing, suicide is increasing, mental illnesses is increasing in general. Clearly we live in a society in which we weren't mentally prepared for after centuries of just living from day to day feeding ourselves, hunting for food and water and making clothes all day. And now things are moving to fast for us to even keep up. We haven't learned any tools to cope with our minds, to understand others and to truly be happy, peaceful and content within ourselves and in relations with others. This society have made us more isolated even though we are surrounded by more and more people everyday. And as we are people persons this is not good for our mentality but again, we really don't learn this in school and we don't learn how to do anything about it. How to get a stable mind and life. So, I'll do my best to give you some tips.
Being aware of this is what is called mindfulness.
1. Do Not Believe Everything You Think
Basically 80 % is just pure nonsense. Never ever consider everything you think as real. Most of it might be shaped by society or your own insecurities or your egocentric and ignorant perspective on the world. Which might be complete bullshit. So..
2. Do Not Dwell in The Past
You can't do anything about it anyways. Up until now, there is no way we have a chance to go back and rewrite our past. It's possible in quantum physics but not the physics or which we are currently in. Dwelling of the past, is what makes you feel guilt, sorrow,
3. Neither think about the Future
The future is, believe me or not, actually completely unpredictable. Even though most likely a scenario where you while tomorrow walking down the streets get a brick in your head, you never know what tomorrow holds. You don't even know what surprises the next hour might bring you. So why worry or plan to much a head. Of by course covering your basic need you need to plan a bit ahead, like housing, money, clothing, educating, nurturing the relationships with the people you care the most about to keep the relationship healthy, educating you kid etc is a necessity. But besides this, there really ain't nothing else to think about, so why do it? You can not predict it anyways. Of course its nice to plan things to look forward to but don't do to much of it, cause as I said.. You dont know..
An important note is that: Anxiety and stress is future related, depression is past. If you live in the present, these negative thoughts will swiftly go away and content will enter you body and mind.
4. Get Your Sleep
A study tracking peoples sleep showed that after even just one night with no sleep made some of the test people psychotic. Say what? Thats insane. It's super important, it disturb your mental state so much, making it run faster and even more difficult to control. It also fires up your amygdala, which is the fear center of the brain.
5. Eat Healthy
What is healthy these days? There are all these different diets out there online each one of them claiming they are the best. Well, I will argue that you do it as simple as simply eat plant based, and keep the meat, fish and animal products on a moderat level. Why?
It doesn't just reduce your waste line or make you body healthy, but.. your brain aswelll!! A healthy lifestyle help build a healthy mind. Again its the same as with sleep. Give your brain healthy fuel and it will work with you, easier to get mindful and stress will lowers it gears.
7. Studies have proven that months of exposure to stress can destroy neurons in the brain permanently, which affects learning, memory, reasoning and impulse control.
Stress literally kills your brain, in addition to having severely negative effects on the rest of your body. When you’re stressed, your body produces more of the stress hormone cortisol which can kill, shrink and stop the generation of new neurons in the part of the brain called the hippocampus. Next time you feel stressed out, reading can reduce stress by 68% – more than listening to music or taking a walk.(source)
More to come later.